Eli Valley, master cartoonist and Friend-of-the-Blog, gives us his delicate, nuanced view of Israeli-Diaspora relations in “Israel Man and Diaspora Boy.”

If you’re in Philly, come out to my reading tonight at Robin’s Bookstore at 6 PM. If not, send all your friends in Philly to the event and we will toast in your honor.

Here are some more kind reviews to convince you:

1. The Canadian Jewish News gives me a review I’m very proud of.

2. Seattle’s Jew-ish gives me another very nice review, and is the first publication to mention the important role that tequila plays in Shut Up, I’m Talking.

Remember how two days ago you promised to help me out? Well, it’s time to deliver on that.

I’ll be doing a reading at Wordsmiths Books tonight in Atlanta at 7:30, so if you’re in Atlanta, be there. And if you’re not, but you know people in town, please send them.

If you want to know what I’m reading from — where have you been? — here is a smart, kind review of Shut Up, I’m Talking by Bezalel Stern in Jbooks.com. It’s got a little wrinkle I think you’ll find interesting.

Yesterday I found myself, mid-day, checking into a hotel in central New Jersey. I wasn’t even planning on staying over, but I was speaking at an event that night, and needed somewhere to base myself and work until then.

The woman behind the desk knew that I was alone and that I was only renting the room for the day, but she gave me a form titled “No Party Policy” and asked me to sign it. I looked at her questioningly. It was the middle of the day and it was storming outside.  I was by myself, and I don’t know anybody in central New Jersey. Also, I had been traveling all morning and was tired.

“That just lets you know,” she said, indicating the form, ”that if you throw a party, we’ll catch you.”

I have decided that if you don’t help me, I will write bad things about you on this blog. (And let’s not forget that I’ve written bad things about you before)

So how are you going to help? You’re going to immediately tell any friends you have in Atlanta and Philadelphia that I will be doing readings in their cities this week and that they have to attend or you will end your friendships with them. I don’t want to be alone in these bookstores with tumbleweeds rolling by me, and if that does happen, I’m blaming you.

So, tell your friends in Atlanta to go Wordsmiths Books at 7:30 PM on Wednesday (the 14th) — Full details here.

And tell your friends in Philadelphia to go to Robin’s Bookstore at 6 PM on Thursday (the 15th) — Full details here.

Please help me out: go tell them now.

This past Saturday, by the way, Canada’s Globe and Mail had an interesting review of Shut Up, I’m Talking. (The same issue also included a new article of mine called “Canada is Technically Part of the United States, Right?”, but you seem to need to be a subsriber to access it.)

TODAY IN RADIO: If you happen to live in North Carolina and are already up, you can catch me on the morning show on WTKF-FM / WJNC-AM at 7:15 this morning.

There’s a lot going on in Israel right now. I think I heard someone on the subway say something about the prime minister possibly being indicted, and today some kids playing stickball on the street told me about a civil war in neighboring Lebanon or something like that. But, of course, what I’m really talking about is scantily-clad women trying to get you to visit the country. The Zionist dream, indeed.

(This comes to me by way of Andrea J, film tycoon and Friend-of-the-Blog, who runs a fine blog of her own — and one that is well worth fighting for.)

TODAY IN RADIO: As seems to be the case lately, I don’t actually know when the show will air, but today I’m doing an interview on The Bob Edwards Show. Your guess as to when it airs is as good as mine (Monday?), but there you go. I realize that wasn’t very helpful.

UPDATE: No, not Monday. But soon. Basically, there was no point posting this today at all.

If you’re writing a book review, and commenting on someone else’s work, maybe it’s best not to have your own article riddled with spelling mistakes, factual errors, and non sequiturs.  I’m just saying.

I’ve seen a few of those recently.

On the other end of the spectrum, though, is Scott Steinberg, who has three things going for him that make him an excellent book reviewer:

1. He likes my book.

2. He can actually write. (Not necessarily a prerequisite for writing book reviews, I’ve learned recently.)

3. Most important of all, he uses a review of my book to try to sell you a doorknob. (Seriously.)

Full article here.

Related:

• 101 Bad Ideas: Idea Number Five
• 101 Bad Ideas: Idea Number Four 

TODAY IN RADIO: At some point this evening, I’ll be on PRI’s Fair Game, which should be broadcast on a public radio station near you. Find out when here.

Over at ReadySteadyGo, Helen implies that she does not like going to bars with her friends in celebration of their books.

In addition to a very kind shout-out to yours truly, she offers up a plan that could revolutionize publishing. In essence, rather than buying books, we would simply pay authors not to write them. This would save everyone a lot of trouble and be far more efficient. I like the idea — especially since I’m a few weeks away from starting my next writing project, which seems like it will be a lot of work.

Perhaps we could also get big grant-giving organizations like the Guggenheim Fellowships to get in on it, and just fund authors to stop bothering everyone. If Helen’s ideas intrigue you, or you just like the cut of her jib, give her a visit.

TODAY IN RADIO: I’ll be on the BBC World Service’s show Outlook, which should be broadcast on an NPR station somewhere near you. I can’t quite figure out how to determine schedules in particular locations, but it has something to do with this page. (And nothing to do with this one.)

It is a strange thing to get woken up by a phone call from abroad telling you excitedly that a foreign government official denies ever having met you — I’m just saying.

TODAY IN RADIO: I’ll be on Ohio’s WMOV 1360 at about 9:05 ET, and on Philadelphia’s WNWR 1540 at about 1:40 ET.

–Ford Madox Ford said that if you opened a book to page 99 and read from it, you would be able to get a sense of the book in its entirety. This is now called “The Page 99 Test,” and I was recently asked to take part in it for my own book. To see the results, visit The Page 99 Test.

–Meanwhile, The New York Post asked me to contribute a piece for their issue commemorating the 60th Anniversary of the establishment of Israel. I was very glad to comply, and you can see it in the special section they put out yesterday.

–On Saturday, Canada’s National Post published a decent review of Shut Up, I’m Talking. Take a look.

–Perhaps most exciting of all, I’m told that my friend Liv’s great aunt’s book club is reading my book. If your great aunt is interested in doing the same in her book club, I would encourage it. I think she’ll like it.

TODAY IN RADIO: If you’re in Connecticut, listen to me on the “Talk of Connecticut” with Brad Davis this morning at 9:40 ET.